Christmas Pictures

This is actually from Thanksgiving but an activity Zoe continued to demand from my brother at Christmas...blowing bubbles!


Eric, Zoe, and Santa at the daycare photo day. Her second visit with Santa and she wouldn't sit on his lap without daddy being there.

Finally getting to read his daughter, "The Night Before Christmas". My father used to read this story to me on this same couch when I was little. I was very choked up taking these pictures, and sorry again my dad didn't get to meet Zoe.

In her Santa hoody Christmas morning. Herman's stuffed airplane in the background :)


Elf Sized and playing with new toys at my mom's house.

I don't have a picture of this but Zoe proved herself to be a true Hockensmith this weekend. Eric and I had taught her to do the "touchdown" gesture for the college football season so it shouldn't have surprised us that our daughter, who only has about 15 words, watched a football game on the 23rd and again yesterday, listened to the commentators during a score, put her arms above her head and said, "Tutdown!".

Baptism and Belated Merry Christmas

Zoe was baptized on December 22nd at my mom's house by the Reverend who married Eric and I in 2004. She was a trooper and did really well during the service, even when the water was put on her head :) My brother took more pictures during the day and I will hopefully get a disc from him soon so I can upload them.

Merry Belated Christmas! I do have some very cute pictures of Zoe in her "Elf Sized" t-shirt but I can't find the cable to hook the camera to the computer at the moment. I hope your Christmas was as nice as ours. From the baptism to Christmas evening it felt like we were constantly on the go, but it was so nice to see and catch up with family. This Christmas is especially special as it was Zoe's first Christmas at home. She sure was spoiled. My brother and sister-in-law had gotten her so many toys that Eric and I had to hold off giving her some of the ones we bought her :) More importantly, Zoe had a ton of fun playing with everyone and showing off her dance moves. If possible, she gets cuter and more fun every day. More pictures later! Hope everyone has a very Happy New Year.

A Few of My Favorite Things

In the spirit of Oprah, I'm always trolling blogs looking for cool things so I thought I'd share what I enjoy as well.




If you are as obsessed with hairbows as I am, you need to check out Charlotte's Bows. http://www.charlottesbows.com/ The bows are dainty (not ginormous like some in stores), stay in Zoe's fine hair, come in a great variety, and are shipped quickly. We have a ton and keep going back for more. They also make great gifts if you know someone who is expecting a little girl.


Praise baby: http://www.praisebabycollection.com/ I've posted before that we're not terribly religious but these videos are amazing. Zoe is not a fan of Baby Einstein but she will sit quietly for the entire 30 minutes these videos are on. She had to start nebulizer treatments this week for bronchiolitis and watching these videos is the only thing that calms her with the mask on her face. I highly recommend, ended up being our best shower gift. Also great for restless late nights.



My Coach diaper bag. Okay, it's a big expense. I'm not even going to link to it BUT how many diaper bags can go from an outing with your baby to meetings with other professionals. It's both my work and diaper bag and I unapologetically love it. And Shawn and Karen, don't even think of posting "I can't believe you..." :)

Things without pictures:

• Doodle Doo Designs: http://www.doodledoodesigns.com/ The best shirt I ever got Zoe was the Fantasy football one. Love it!
• Hormel foods- They make a great potroast, turkey dinner, meatloaf, ect. Zoe loves them and actually eats meat this way. It's great for nights that we're eating something different from her. 4 minutes in the microwave and done.
• Our Maclaren Triumph Charcoal/Pink stroller~ It's pink, I waited forever for a daughter, and as a bonus she actually rides in it without screaming.
• Gymboree and Janie and Jack~ I have a shopping problem. See above: I waited forever for a daughter

While I love to shop, is there anything better than giving? Not only does it help others and make you feel good, but it provides a much needed tax break. Two of the charities we support are below. Whoever you decide to donate to, find something that matters to you and do your research. Websites such as http://www.charitynavigator.org/ can help you learn where your money is going.

One of the defining events of my life was losing my sister to cancer when I was 10. We were lucky to live near NIH which also provided outstanding experimental care, but other families traveled from all over the US. Now that I'm a parent, I can't even imagine how my mom and dad went on breathing after Kathy died. St. Jude's is a research hospital that provides treatment to those who can't afford it. http://www.stjude.com/


Obviously the orphans left behind in China are a concern for us. Zoe spent the first 9 months of her life in an orphanage and came to us probably 3 months delayed. Through their Baby Sisters Infant Nuture program, Half the Sky employs, trains and supervises local women to work as full-time nannies, providing orphaned babies the stimulation, bonding and affection that are essential to a healthy start. Children who have benefited from the Half the Sky programs are usually on target developmentally. http://www.halfthesky.com/ For relatively little money you can sponser a child for a year.

Happy Holidays!!

A Few Pictures

Last Sunday we got together with our local adoption group friends for a holiday celebration. We're finally all home with our girls!

Zoe's first Virginia snow. We're not sure if it snowed in Jiangxi or not, but she's not so crazy about the stuff. We took her outside at 6am (brrr) so we could both experience the moment with her.

Not a great picture, but Zoe is in love with the little chair from Pottery Barn Kids I got her (yes, another X-mas present given early). She feels very adult in it :)

Quick "Phew" post

Just a quick post to update on two issues that I've been worried about....1) Zoe had her 15 month appointment today and she's finally on the curve (5th percentile) for head circumference. She's 10-25% for weight and 25-50% for height. The weight and head were the ones we were most worried about since our first appointment home from China when the doctor said Zoe was microcephalic (which can cause mental retardation). So HA HA bad poorly informed doctor. Actually when were were in Guangzhou the doctor measured her head and then did it again and asked, "How old is she?" I should have known then about the effects of the malnutrition....but we're good now!

Second, and probably more important since we've known Zoe is developing well.....she's learned to come down stairs safely on her bottom. While I hope she never does it on her own while she's still so little, at least we can relax a little bit. She's so cute...she drops to her bottom like 3 feet from the top of the stairs and then "scootches" (a new vocab word for her :) ) to the top and then comes down. The stairs in the townhome have been my greatest worry so I'm so proud of her. This house is impossible to gate.

Pictures from Thanksgiving Weekend

I met my uncle Kevin and he and my Aunt Barbara brought me this really cool pedal car. I'm too little to pedal, but I love going for rides!
My first Thanksgiving dinner. I love spiced peaches.

My winter hat. Did I mention I hate hats?

One of my Christmas presents. See post below. My mommy has no impulse control.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! I bet you can guess what we're most thankful for this year.

Really Cool Toy

I'm so excited about this really cool toy I just bought Zoe for Christmas. It's a giant hugable dinasour that also has 60 different colored balls in it and acts like a ball pit when it is unzipped. I imagine we're going to have 60 different colored balls floating around the basement....but still, it's really cute :)

This has been a crazy week. On Monday Zoe woke up and couldn't put weight on her left leg. She kept falling so I took her to the peditrician thinking they would just tell me that she pulled a muscle. Nope, off to the hospital we went for X-rays and bloodwork with both mom and baby in tears. Zoe, wisely, is not a fan of bloodwork and the tech was not terribly good at finding her vein. It broke my heart to have to hold her down. Then off to X-rays we went where again we had to restrain her so they could get a picture of her hips. I guess there is a common hip infection that kids can get that causes a sudden limp. As it turns out she is fine. We think she may have slept on it funny because for the next couple of days she limped after naps and waking. I was also really stressed because I had work that was due on Monday and I had no choice but to go to the office and get it done. Working mom guilt. I'm so thankful that my mom and Ed were able to come over last minute and watch Zoe for me. I obviously didn't want to take her to daycare if she were in pain.

Thanksgiving is finally upon us. Us 12-month employees really look forward to this 5 day weekend (they give us Wednesday off too). Eric and I are going to take Zoe to daycare on Wednesday and have a date day. We're planning on going to a movie together for the first time since we brought Zoe home. I'm looking so forward to spending the 5 days with Zoe (and for my brother to finally meet her!), but I've missed the one on one time with Eric and can't wait for that as well.

Happy Thanksgiving to all!!

A little update

In her sock monkey Nick and Nora PJ's.....this picture doesn't do it justice

Zoe and Daddy were disappointed with the Colts performance on Sunday. (Thanks for the jersey Shawn and Karen!)


It's getting harder and harder to take pictures of Zoe since she loves the camera so much that when she sees it she comes running (yes, we're running now...and still falling) over so quickly I can't get the picture taken without it just being a gigantic one of her head. Her pictures now need to be snapped without her knowing it's coming :)

I found these Nick and Nora Sock Monkey pjs at Target....oh my they are so cute. I need to go back and get a few more pairs. I had no idea they made these for little ones. This week has been a good one. Zoe enjoyed trick or treating at a couple of the neighbors house. My mom and Ed came over for Halloween night and Zoe loved the attention and showing off her bumblebee costume. I think, if our scale is correct, that Zoe has finally topped the 20 pound mark and we can finally turn her carseat to forward facing. She's getting so tall that she's a bit scrunched being backwards. I still think it's the safer way to travel though. Oh, got some interesting info from Zoe's daycare. As it turns out, she self feeds her bottle there and has been doing it for a while. She also just lays down and takes a nap in the cot without a fuss now.....These are not behaviors we are seeing at home :) She still loves mom and dad to hold her bottle and her sleep requires some effort here. She's still facinated with lights and she loves to point them all out saying "Ight, ight". She loves to turn the switches on and off and is so proud of herself to watch the effect. It's the little things I guess :) She's walking up stairs now and tries to reach for the railing which is way too high for her so she needs to take our hands or she kind of goes hand then full foot up the stairs. I won't let her try to come down them yet...our stairs are really steep.

On Monday we found out we had an offer on our house. We put the house on the market in August thinking that when Zoe started walking we'd be out of space, and we'd had some repairs done on it so we thought why not? We'll we're not close to being out of space and we love our home so we were a bit taken aback by getting an offer in this horrible market. Luckily the deal isn't going through as the buyer can't afford what our bottom line is. It was very enlightening as we found ourselves 99% happy/relieved and only 1% disappointed not to have to leave. I think we'll probably stay here until 2009 and then re-evaluate if we decide to add another kiddo to the mix. It's hard to move when there is little or nothing on the market that you like better than what you are currently in ;)

Happy Halloween!!!

Our Bumble Bee

A Decision

We need to make a decision soon about whether or not to change Zoe's daycare provider. I put her on the wait-list at a Luthern church daycare 2 years ago and they've told me they will have a spot for her in January. This is one of the best daycares in the area (clearly, if the wait is 2 years) so I know it will most likely be a good change. The problem is I love her current teacher. I know that in the spring Zoe will be switching out of the young toddler class anyway; but, I feel like she's been very well taken care of in her class and that the staff at her current location is very nuturing. I don't even watch the webcam anymore since I know she's fine.

The huge plus of the church daycare is that it will be 5 minutes from the house and 2 minutes from my office and assigned schools. Right now I'm driving Zoe 20 minutes to daycare and then, on the days I don't have meetings at a school near the daycare, I'm turning around and hurrying back another 15 minutes in my original direction to get to work on time. Eric's school is closer, but we can never seem to get Zoe up and ready by the time he needs to leave to get to work. I'm torn on the religious aspect of the church daycare as well. I am not a religious person. I think religion is great if it keeps people from doing bad things that, for not the fear of eternal damnation, they would be doing....but I'm a person who really wanted the Darwin fish magnet on the back of my car in college.

However, I can conceed that I could be wrong. With that in mind we're having Zoe baptized in December (although at my mom's house by the minister who married us instead of in a church). I also guess I like the idea of "Jesus time" (on the daily schedule) so that she gets exposed to religion and can make her own informed decisions when she's older. Still...I'm sad about pulling her from her current place and know that she's going to go through yet another transition in January if we do. I hate to get back to the place where she's crying every time I drop her off.

First Football Game at Indiana University

My two fans

Going to the game



Checking out the flowers on campus


In front of Showalter Fountain at IU

Zoe did great on her first trip after coming home. She slept on the plane ride there, let us enjoy the ENTIRE football game without much complaint (even clapping with the fans), and slept like an angel at night (in the king bed with us). The flight home was a bit trickier but by that time she deserved a bit of restlessness. It was wonderful to be back on campus and spend time with friends who live in Indy.

Weekend Pictures from Petting Zoo/Pumpkinville

What are these??


Hanging out in the hay


Look, a goat!


This seems like a really big apple!

A Week in Review...

Wow, these weeks are flying past. The weather has finally turned colder here so Eric is excited. It feels like real football weather now. Poor Zoe was sick again this week. She was having some tummy trouble so she got to stay with grandma for a couple days. I know she had a great time! My mom and Ed had come over on Monday to watch Zoe so Eric and I could have a much needed date. Zoe was so excited to see my mom. I think her stranger anxiety is now completely gone as she even went willingly to the contractor who came to the house to give us an estimate on some granite. It definitely makes leaving her easier since she happily goes with someone else now.

For the past week or so I noticed that Zoe was doing things that looked liked signs. I asked her teacher and sure enough they have been working on them with the class. I had thought that Zoe was just showing me her mouth but turns out she was saying she was hungry. Oops :) She also knows the signs for more, please, and thank you (I think that's the one that looks like she's blowing kisses). Tonight she did the sign for drink..and since I finally clued in I was able to get her what she wanted. She's also added "baby" and what sounds like "bear" to her verbal words. We read "Going on a Bear Hunt" like three times a day so it wouldn't surprise me. There is a dog in the book that looks like Herman that she or I point out on every page so what sounds like "bear" is usually directed at Herman. Unfortunately Zoe had a bit of an accident today. Her walking has gotten so much better, even in shoes. She did take a bit of a spill today and got a cut on her lip, poor baby. Between being sick and her little accident she crashed tonight at 7pm. I have a feeling one of us is going to be up at 4am :)

If you want to find something....

Post that you have lost it!

We found our camera so we can finally take pictures of Zoe's first walking attempts. She saw these pictures in the digital camera monitor and proceeded to give herself countless kisses :) Can't say she doesn' t have a healthy self-esteem!

Uh Oh!

Uh Oh is Zoe's word of the week :) She's been saying it for a couple months but now she's added hand gestures so it's adorable as in "Uh Oh (shoulders shrugged, palms up)". It's a very fitting word as in "Uh Oh, Mommy and Daddy lost their digital camera and therefore haven't taken any pictures of me in a month!". We have no idea where the camera went to, we're hoping it wasn't stolen during our Open House. The Gods must have been smiling on me though because even though we had a memory card from China and Zoe's birthday in the camera, I had finally uploaded all the pictures to the computer so we lost nothing. Thank Goodness. I'd be beside myself if those pictures from China and Zoe's first few months were lost. We need to get another one before our trip to Indiana for the IU/PSU football game. We need to document Zoe's first football game. In case you're wondering, she's rooting for IU. They are playing better than Penn State this year anyway :) I can't wait to take her to the bookstore on campus and get her outfited. It's, of course, my dream that she'll want to go to school there when she's older...but if it is like it was when I was there then there is not much of an Asian population. I'm sure my parents hoped we'd all go to Illinois but that didn't work out for them either (although Kathy would have gone there had she lived).

Not much has been going on this week. I was so sick on Thursday/Friday that I had to take off of work but send Zoe to daycare since there was no way I could have cared for her. She's not one to let me use the restroom by myself and let's just say I needed to use the restroom by myself :) It was either food poisoning or the stomach flu but either way taste aversion has kicked in to the last thing I ate before getting sick so Starbucks is not completely banished from my life. I can't even look at the sign. For insight into how parenting is going for us at times, Eric actually said as I was sick, "You know I'll kill you if you're pregnant, right?" I think Zoe may be an only child. She's the little love of our lives, but boy this is work :) She's as active as ever, loving to take her steps (still not a great walker but getting better each day), and climbing up the stairs and generally everything else in her path. She's got the body builder thing going as she's power squatting down to pick up heavy (for her) objects and then attempting to walk them over to us. I don't think she realizes that she has to learn to balance just herself first for walking before she can balance with other items. She keeps us busy with constantly wanting to be read to. I've had to wedge the books into the shelves to keep her from getting them all the time. She takes one out, brings it to us, claps her hands so we'll read it, climbs in our laps for the story and then goes to get another one. Over and over. Over and over. I know more stories by heart now. I hope she continues her love of books but there are only so many times you can read them! (as I told this story to my friend who has grown children he proceeded to recite from memory stories he read to his kids 20 years ago)

Oh, one last thing. Zoe stopped crying when I drop her off at daycare. She willingly goes to Miss Cindy's arms and waves bye-bye to me(she also says Bye with a southern drawl). For all the guilt I felt when she cried..at least I didn't have the "Don't you love me anymore?" feeling :)

Food

Food is a popular topic in our house being that Zoe has gone from eating everything fed to her to being quite the picky little eater. I think part of her slow down was getting to her weight set point and also realizing that hey, even if I don't eat everything right now they'll be trying to shove more things into my mouth in a couple of hours :) It amazes me how quickly she has adapted to the American diet. I had to ask people at work yesterday if it is really possible for kids to live on chicken tenders, fish sticks, goldfish crackers, mango, and cheerios. I was pleased that so many people said, "Yes!". Notice that all of Zoe's preferred foods range from brown to orange? Creepy. Yes, Zoe is given all sorts of healthy things are her plate as well (broccoli, green beans, etc.), she just ignores them and pushes our hands away if we (God forbid) try to put it in Miss (food only) Independent's mouth for her. She actually loves all things Italian and Eric often reminds me that the Chinese invented the noodle. Lasagna and spaghetti are hits in our house as well. She had her first grilled cheese last night and gobbled it up. Grapes are apparently back on the acceptable list as well, having been banished for a couple weeks. We got some spinach into her last night by disguising it in a less healthy "brown" crust. She's so funny when she's eating something she really likes. She stuffs so many pieces in her mouth it 1) makes me incredibly nervous about choking but 2) makes her look like a hamster. Our freezer and refrigerator are stocked with new foods for Zoe to try. I took her to the grocery store and if she said, "mmmm" after looking at something (e.g. the grapes) it went into the cart.

I mentioned that Zoe is independent when it comes to wanting to feed herself but forgot to mention that at the doctor's office they noted on her physical form that she had "severe separation anxiety." I had to agree being that she hates the doctor's office since they always poke and prod (or stick water in her ear to get the wax out), and her morning crying at daycare. However, this morning I dropped her at daycare and she did her usual protesting and crying (no tears) as I left. I had forgotten something and had to go back to the classroom not 15 seconds later and she was SMILING and playing. Boy, those manipulation skills develop quickly. Oh and she finally started taking small steps over the weekend. I think her record is 4 at a time (small steps). You'd have to see Zoe get from sitting to standing to believe it but she completely rolls over her ankle to put her foot flat when standing. It's like watching an NFL horror film where they go in slow motion to detail exactly where the compound fracture occurred..only it doesn't seem to bother her. Ick.

Bubble pictures and weekly update

I don't think we bought any of the pictures above from our photo shoot last weekend but they crack me up. At least we have proof she can visually track :) This week went well for Zoe. She spent Monday with her grandma in Leesburg and had a great day. She did really well in daycare this week but only had to go until Thursday since I took today off to spend with her. Today was Zoe's 1 year check up (the dr.'s are booked which caused the delay). She's now 19 pounds and 29.5 inches tall. She's gained 4 pounds since coming home. The doctor was really pleased with her growth and all the cool things Zoe can do. She's gotten very good at getting from her behind to standing without pulling up but will still only take steps either with her push toy or holding our hands. When you ask her to walk to you when she's standing and not holding on to anything she kind of chuckles at you..pretty funny. She grabbed her hair today when I asked her to show me where her hair is (she combs her hair when I say, "Comb your hair" so I took a shot). It was probably a fluke, but still cool. She loves it when I sing, "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands", and she claps in all the right places :) Other than that a pretty dull week....oh, Zoe is back on antibiotics for a sinus infection but I told the doctor no more amoxicillian so it's something different this time.

Zoe also got her MMR/chicken pox vaccination today. For those of you who don't know the MMR is the one that people thought caused autism. I do not believe this to be the case, particularly since they removed the mercury from the shots. I work with children with autism and their families. Again, I do not believe the shots cause autism; HOWEVER, when someone is about to put something into your own child it's amazing how quickly you challenge your own beliefs. I hemmed and hawed over allowing the shot because if I'm wrong and something were to happen to Zoe because of something I allowed I would be incredibly distraught. I went ahead and allowed the vaccination, but I'm not thrilled about it.

It's been a year this week since my dad died which has been hard for me, I don't know where the time went. It's also college football time and that was always something that he and I bonded over. The Illinois/Indiana game is this weekend which is our alma maters (and my mom's) playing each other and a game that Eric and I would go see with him in Illinois. I kind of just list Zoe updates for family (and friends) on this site but my dad's been on my mind a lot lately. I'm sad he never got the chance to meet his exceptional granddaughter. He did contribute to her quilt though which I'm thankful for and I've got to get on that and get it sent out to be made. Eric and I still need to choose our fabrics...talk about procrastination! Everyone enjoy their weekend!

One Year Pictures

Smile!

Cheeky monkey (our pet name for her)

Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Sitting pretty

We took Zoe today for her one year pictures. Thank you Karen for the recommendation of Picture Innovations! We got some great shots of Zoe, more than blogger will let me post. We got some really good ones with bubbles. Don't worry grandparents, we're going to flood you with pictures :)

Zoe had a really good week. She's now pretty much exclusively finger feeding. She doesn't want anything come from us on a spoon and really if she can't pick it up herself she just doesn't want it :) Hard to imagine that just a couple weeks ago she finally started eating Cheerios on her own. She's also working really hard on standing up without pulling up on anything. She's been successful a couple times but she's still off balance. She wants to take our hands and walk every where so I think she's motivated to get moving.

Zoe is still struggling with her stuffy nose but seems to be getting better. I went to the doctor yesterday and found out I have bronchitis and siniusitis so I'm hoping that I don't pass it on to her. We have Zoe's one year doctor appointment on Friday so we can get her all checked out then.

Update :)

My mom sent me an e-mail telling me that I needed to update my blog about daycare so here goes :) The first day went okay. She didn't eat or sleep for them but really loved the stroller ride with the other kids and their nature walk. Yesterday was much better. She ate more food for them than she has for Eric and I in a month and took a 2.5 hour nap. She cries a bit when I drop her off and pick her up but I think that is to tug at mommy's heart strings. I can watch her on the Toddlercam and know that she is having fun. Plus yesterday she was smiling and playing when I was there and watching her and didn't start crying until she saw me and came crawling over with her arms up. Pathetic :) Her teacher is seriously wonderful. She is exactly what you would want, warm and fuzzy and clearly enjoys Zoe. She has three boys of her own and there are only two girls in Zoe's class so I think she enjoys her girl time :) There are people who are born to work with a group of small children all day (note: I am not one of them) and Zoe's teacher definitely is. I don't worry about her care at all. The first day I had the toddler cam (yesterday), everytime I looked (which was pretty much every 10 minutes) Zoe was either in her teacher's lap or being carried by her. Now Zoe is one of two in the class who can't walk yet so she needs more care, but still it was wonderful to see the amount of attention she is getting. Also, her language is getting so much better. After her first day of daycare she was making sounds I had never heard her say before and she is following more simple directions without gestures or prompts.

Of course the negative of daycare is illness and Zoe is fighting either a cold or allergies. It seems a bit early for a cold from daycare to have shown up, and I'm having a real hard time with allergies so that may be it. Her sleeping was terrible last night but if you can't breathe, it's hard to sleep.....and eat. To be fair, she was going through a terrible sleep pattern the week before daycare too. I'm so looking forward to the weekend with our little angel. Next week Eric will do the daycare pickup so that will extend her time by a managable 1/2 hour. I can go to work later than he can so it still makes sense for me to do drop off....even though the center is 3 mintues from his school and about 20 minutes out of my way :)

Update: So not allergies. Got a call as I was leaving to go pick up Zoe that she had a temperature of 102. Our baby's first temperature at home with us. Those germs worked quickly! I guess what does not kill us, strengthens our immune system :)

Happy Birthday Zoe!!!

I'm so excited it's my birthday!!


I love my new toys!!


A pensive moment :)


I do not like hats!!



Just a quick post with birthday photos. I can't believe we have a one year old. I know two of hte pictures are sideways but I'm running out the door. Zoe's first day of daycare is today and I'm leaving work early in a minute to go pick her up (scheduled, not because they called :) ). It's nice to be back with adults...but I really miss my little girl! I bawled at daycare this morning and she looked at me like I was crazy...she was already having fun on the floor with her new teacher and another little boy. She got so excited when she saw the other kids. Fingers crossed the rest of the day went as well...

In China, It's Zoe's Birthday

It's September 3rd in China, Zoe's first birthday, and somewhere in the Jiangxi province a year ago a woman had either given birth to, or was preparing to give birth to, the little miracle in my life. I imagine she's thinking about Zoe today too. I can't imagine going through an experience such as childbirth and not thinking of the life you created. I hope somehow she can sense that Zoe is safe and happy. I imagine she has no idea that the child she created is living a life half a world away. Maybe she is at peace thinking that Zoe is being cared for at the Fengxin SWI, maybe she even walks by every now and again. We'll never know the reasons that Zoe was abandoned. It is easy to blame the political situation in China for her abandonment, but it's possible that Zoe was given up for reasons thousands of American birthmom's relinquish custody of their children every year. Giving Zoe up may have been the most difficult decision of her life, or maybe it was the easiest. We will never know and honestly, the only person on this half of the world who needs to come to terms with the reasons, or lack of knowledge of the reasons, is Zoe. Adopting from China is unique in that there is no paper trail, we'll probably never know who Zoe's birthmother and father are...but how can I not know two people and yet know them so well. I know they are beautiful and smart. I know that they are probably shy at first but warm up quickly to strangers. I know they have a curiosity about the world and a desire to share what they are thinking . I know they probably have laughs and a crooked smile that lights up the room they are in. I know this about them, because I see them in Zoe every day. Who Zoe becomes will be influenced by the four parents who have made her life possible. I only hope she is able to take the best traits from the four of us to become her best person.

The one last thought I have stems from the blogs or stories I have read where adoptive parents have an anger towards their child's birthparents for abadoning them. I've read where people have said that they, under no circumstances or political pressure, would ever abandon their child. To them I say, "There but for the grace of God go I." It's easy when you're sitting on this side of the fence to make those comments. There are two truths I do know about Zoe's abadonment. One is that her birthmother did not have to sacrifice her body or her life for nine months to give birth to Zoe. The second is that, upon knowing she would not raise Zoe, she did not have to place Zoe so lovingly in a safe location where she would be so quickly found. Those two choices have made our life complete. And for those two choices I will forever be profoundly grateful.

So with all that I made a decision that every year on September 2nd (the 3rd in China) I'm going to write a letter to Zoe's birthmom telling her about the year Zoe has had. I don't imagine I will ever give them to her or anyone in her family; although genetic testing being what it is, but maybe the letters may mean something to Zoe when she's older. September 3rd in the U.S. will always be about Zoe, but it seems right to reflect on her birthmother and father on the 2nd.

You've Come a Long Way Baby

Enjoying her birthday present (I just couldn't wait and gave it to her early :) )

A round of applause please!

Today I took Zoe to Eric's school for a visit. The teachers were all so amazed at how different Zoe is now from when they first saw her when we came home in June. It got me thinking about everything this amazing little girl has accomplished in the 2.5 months she's been home. She went from a (dr. diagnosed) malnourished little peanut, to a chubby cheeked, well...she's still a little peanut. She may be rear facing in the carseat for a long time as she quickly got to 18 pounds but now her appetite has really slowed down.

When we first saw Zoe she could only sit unassisted for probably 10 seconds. Now she cruises around the furniture, stoops to pick something up, gets back up and continues on. She's standing alone for longer periods of time (when motivated) and the other day shuffled between the coffee table and couch without holding on. She would bring nothing to her mouth and now she self-feeds finger foods (when motivated). She had no idea of midline, and now she claps her hands. Zoe was so quiet at first I thought she may be deaf...now she babbles with inflection (particularly at Herman when he goes for her toys) and has said the word "up" appropriately. Her receptive language and grasp of English has truly amazed me. She developed the one finger pointing a couple weeks ago and now points at everything and seems to want it labeled for her. She also likes to point out all the trees and lights :) Most importantly, she went from complete apathy towards Eric and I, to loving us as her parents. In China Zoe often reached out for the other Chinese women (on the airplane, in restaurants, etc.) as they looked like her nannies in the orphanage. She and I were shopping at the outlets the other day and a very friendly Chinese couple came up to her and the woman reached out for her. Zoe grabbed on to me and buried her face in my chest. I'd always read about how quickly the girls develop once they got home, but Zoe has really exceeded my expectations, particularly lately. It's also been so nice to get updates from her China orphanage sisters and know that they too are doing beautifully.

In other Zoe news..she's cutting two bottom teeth. She had one rough night after 10 nights of blissfully sleeping through the night and we were afraid her ear infection was back until we saw the tiny tops of her new teeth poking through. Thank goodness for baby Tylenol! We're expecting some regression when daycare starts but hopefully it will just be for a little bit. I guess my next post will have pictures from her birthday. I can't believe she's 1 already!

An Apology...

I'd like to issue a formal apology to anyone to whom I gave unsolicited parenting advise over the years. I'm sure phrases such as "you need to", or "you should" have rolled off my unknowing tongue. See, as a psychologist I know what I SHOULD do for Zoe but really, all that goes by the wayside when it's your kid. When the amoxicillin hurt her belly and she wouldn't eat...I knew I should only feed her in the high chair (she'll eat when she's hungry) but no...since she's my kid and I was worried it was perfectly acceptable to feed her while she stood standing in the refrigerator :) Hey, anything to get her fed and keep up her weight. So to everyone without kids who has uttered the words "you need to", or "you should" to me over the past three months...I know you mean well, but talk to me when it's your own kid who's struggling :) I now completely understand when the parents that I work with occasionally used my least favorite phrase in meetings "Do you have kids?". Before I thought it was irrelevant...now I know it's the most relevant question they could ask. My answer, of course, used to be "No." Now it will be, "Yes, I understand.....and you still need to not let them set fires :)

Hmmm, what's for dinner?


I think I can, I think I can....


Phew, I made it!

Okay, so I just realized that all of today's pictures are of Zoe's backside :) I do really like those Princess pants though. Eric is now back to work..just in time for Zoe to decide that napping is optional. I go back on September 4th and am getting pretty ready to go back. I know the first couple weeks of daycare are going to be an adjustment, but I think Zoe will really enjoy being around the other kids. As you can see from the pictures she's gotten very good at climbing our very steep stairs. We had her climb them a couple times yesterday and then she slept 11 hours straight....boot camp for babies :) She's also finally able to self-feed with things down to the size of 1/4 a Cheerio. It's not perfect every time, but a HUGE improvement. The amoxicillin she had to take for her ear infection really did a number on her belly. She's been refusing foods that she once loved lately and is really prefering liquids and carbs like crackers. We're hoping she gets back to normal soon, but in the meantime I should buy stock in Yobaby drinkable yogurt. She won't take the regular stuff with a spoon but will still drink it happily through the bottle or sippy. Her language skills continue to develop and she's able to follow some one step directions without prompts or gestures. We were playing with her Little People cow today and she said "Moooo"...or maybe I imagined it :) I've finally been getting my "mama". Her first birthday is coming up and we're going to do a very low key affair with just family since I go back to work the next day.