Food

Food is a popular topic in our house being that Zoe has gone from eating everything fed to her to being quite the picky little eater. I think part of her slow down was getting to her weight set point and also realizing that hey, even if I don't eat everything right now they'll be trying to shove more things into my mouth in a couple of hours :) It amazes me how quickly she has adapted to the American diet. I had to ask people at work yesterday if it is really possible for kids to live on chicken tenders, fish sticks, goldfish crackers, mango, and cheerios. I was pleased that so many people said, "Yes!". Notice that all of Zoe's preferred foods range from brown to orange? Creepy. Yes, Zoe is given all sorts of healthy things are her plate as well (broccoli, green beans, etc.), she just ignores them and pushes our hands away if we (God forbid) try to put it in Miss (food only) Independent's mouth for her. She actually loves all things Italian and Eric often reminds me that the Chinese invented the noodle. Lasagna and spaghetti are hits in our house as well. She had her first grilled cheese last night and gobbled it up. Grapes are apparently back on the acceptable list as well, having been banished for a couple weeks. We got some spinach into her last night by disguising it in a less healthy "brown" crust. She's so funny when she's eating something she really likes. She stuffs so many pieces in her mouth it 1) makes me incredibly nervous about choking but 2) makes her look like a hamster. Our freezer and refrigerator are stocked with new foods for Zoe to try. I took her to the grocery store and if she said, "mmmm" after looking at something (e.g. the grapes) it went into the cart.

I mentioned that Zoe is independent when it comes to wanting to feed herself but forgot to mention that at the doctor's office they noted on her physical form that she had "severe separation anxiety." I had to agree being that she hates the doctor's office since they always poke and prod (or stick water in her ear to get the wax out), and her morning crying at daycare. However, this morning I dropped her at daycare and she did her usual protesting and crying (no tears) as I left. I had forgotten something and had to go back to the classroom not 15 seconds later and she was SMILING and playing. Boy, those manipulation skills develop quickly. Oh and she finally started taking small steps over the weekend. I think her record is 4 at a time (small steps). You'd have to see Zoe get from sitting to standing to believe it but she completely rolls over her ankle to put her foot flat when standing. It's like watching an NFL horror film where they go in slow motion to detail exactly where the compound fracture occurred..only it doesn't seem to bother her. Ick.

Bubble pictures and weekly update

I don't think we bought any of the pictures above from our photo shoot last weekend but they crack me up. At least we have proof she can visually track :) This week went well for Zoe. She spent Monday with her grandma in Leesburg and had a great day. She did really well in daycare this week but only had to go until Thursday since I took today off to spend with her. Today was Zoe's 1 year check up (the dr.'s are booked which caused the delay). She's now 19 pounds and 29.5 inches tall. She's gained 4 pounds since coming home. The doctor was really pleased with her growth and all the cool things Zoe can do. She's gotten very good at getting from her behind to standing without pulling up but will still only take steps either with her push toy or holding our hands. When you ask her to walk to you when she's standing and not holding on to anything she kind of chuckles at you..pretty funny. She grabbed her hair today when I asked her to show me where her hair is (she combs her hair when I say, "Comb your hair" so I took a shot). It was probably a fluke, but still cool. She loves it when I sing, "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands", and she claps in all the right places :) Other than that a pretty dull week....oh, Zoe is back on antibiotics for a sinus infection but I told the doctor no more amoxicillian so it's something different this time.

Zoe also got her MMR/chicken pox vaccination today. For those of you who don't know the MMR is the one that people thought caused autism. I do not believe this to be the case, particularly since they removed the mercury from the shots. I work with children with autism and their families. Again, I do not believe the shots cause autism; HOWEVER, when someone is about to put something into your own child it's amazing how quickly you challenge your own beliefs. I hemmed and hawed over allowing the shot because if I'm wrong and something were to happen to Zoe because of something I allowed I would be incredibly distraught. I went ahead and allowed the vaccination, but I'm not thrilled about it.

It's been a year this week since my dad died which has been hard for me, I don't know where the time went. It's also college football time and that was always something that he and I bonded over. The Illinois/Indiana game is this weekend which is our alma maters (and my mom's) playing each other and a game that Eric and I would go see with him in Illinois. I kind of just list Zoe updates for family (and friends) on this site but my dad's been on my mind a lot lately. I'm sad he never got the chance to meet his exceptional granddaughter. He did contribute to her quilt though which I'm thankful for and I've got to get on that and get it sent out to be made. Eric and I still need to choose our fabrics...talk about procrastination! Everyone enjoy their weekend!

One Year Pictures

Smile!

Cheeky monkey (our pet name for her)

Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

Sitting pretty

We took Zoe today for her one year pictures. Thank you Karen for the recommendation of Picture Innovations! We got some great shots of Zoe, more than blogger will let me post. We got some really good ones with bubbles. Don't worry grandparents, we're going to flood you with pictures :)

Zoe had a really good week. She's now pretty much exclusively finger feeding. She doesn't want anything come from us on a spoon and really if she can't pick it up herself she just doesn't want it :) Hard to imagine that just a couple weeks ago she finally started eating Cheerios on her own. She's also working really hard on standing up without pulling up on anything. She's been successful a couple times but she's still off balance. She wants to take our hands and walk every where so I think she's motivated to get moving.

Zoe is still struggling with her stuffy nose but seems to be getting better. I went to the doctor yesterday and found out I have bronchitis and siniusitis so I'm hoping that I don't pass it on to her. We have Zoe's one year doctor appointment on Friday so we can get her all checked out then.

Update :)

My mom sent me an e-mail telling me that I needed to update my blog about daycare so here goes :) The first day went okay. She didn't eat or sleep for them but really loved the stroller ride with the other kids and their nature walk. Yesterday was much better. She ate more food for them than she has for Eric and I in a month and took a 2.5 hour nap. She cries a bit when I drop her off and pick her up but I think that is to tug at mommy's heart strings. I can watch her on the Toddlercam and know that she is having fun. Plus yesterday she was smiling and playing when I was there and watching her and didn't start crying until she saw me and came crawling over with her arms up. Pathetic :) Her teacher is seriously wonderful. She is exactly what you would want, warm and fuzzy and clearly enjoys Zoe. She has three boys of her own and there are only two girls in Zoe's class so I think she enjoys her girl time :) There are people who are born to work with a group of small children all day (note: I am not one of them) and Zoe's teacher definitely is. I don't worry about her care at all. The first day I had the toddler cam (yesterday), everytime I looked (which was pretty much every 10 minutes) Zoe was either in her teacher's lap or being carried by her. Now Zoe is one of two in the class who can't walk yet so she needs more care, but still it was wonderful to see the amount of attention she is getting. Also, her language is getting so much better. After her first day of daycare she was making sounds I had never heard her say before and she is following more simple directions without gestures or prompts.

Of course the negative of daycare is illness and Zoe is fighting either a cold or allergies. It seems a bit early for a cold from daycare to have shown up, and I'm having a real hard time with allergies so that may be it. Her sleeping was terrible last night but if you can't breathe, it's hard to sleep.....and eat. To be fair, she was going through a terrible sleep pattern the week before daycare too. I'm so looking forward to the weekend with our little angel. Next week Eric will do the daycare pickup so that will extend her time by a managable 1/2 hour. I can go to work later than he can so it still makes sense for me to do drop off....even though the center is 3 mintues from his school and about 20 minutes out of my way :)

Update: So not allergies. Got a call as I was leaving to go pick up Zoe that she had a temperature of 102. Our baby's first temperature at home with us. Those germs worked quickly! I guess what does not kill us, strengthens our immune system :)

Happy Birthday Zoe!!!

I'm so excited it's my birthday!!


I love my new toys!!


A pensive moment :)


I do not like hats!!



Just a quick post with birthday photos. I can't believe we have a one year old. I know two of hte pictures are sideways but I'm running out the door. Zoe's first day of daycare is today and I'm leaving work early in a minute to go pick her up (scheduled, not because they called :) ). It's nice to be back with adults...but I really miss my little girl! I bawled at daycare this morning and she looked at me like I was crazy...she was already having fun on the floor with her new teacher and another little boy. She got so excited when she saw the other kids. Fingers crossed the rest of the day went as well...

In China, It's Zoe's Birthday

It's September 3rd in China, Zoe's first birthday, and somewhere in the Jiangxi province a year ago a woman had either given birth to, or was preparing to give birth to, the little miracle in my life. I imagine she's thinking about Zoe today too. I can't imagine going through an experience such as childbirth and not thinking of the life you created. I hope somehow she can sense that Zoe is safe and happy. I imagine she has no idea that the child she created is living a life half a world away. Maybe she is at peace thinking that Zoe is being cared for at the Fengxin SWI, maybe she even walks by every now and again. We'll never know the reasons that Zoe was abandoned. It is easy to blame the political situation in China for her abandonment, but it's possible that Zoe was given up for reasons thousands of American birthmom's relinquish custody of their children every year. Giving Zoe up may have been the most difficult decision of her life, or maybe it was the easiest. We will never know and honestly, the only person on this half of the world who needs to come to terms with the reasons, or lack of knowledge of the reasons, is Zoe. Adopting from China is unique in that there is no paper trail, we'll probably never know who Zoe's birthmother and father are...but how can I not know two people and yet know them so well. I know they are beautiful and smart. I know that they are probably shy at first but warm up quickly to strangers. I know they have a curiosity about the world and a desire to share what they are thinking . I know they probably have laughs and a crooked smile that lights up the room they are in. I know this about them, because I see them in Zoe every day. Who Zoe becomes will be influenced by the four parents who have made her life possible. I only hope she is able to take the best traits from the four of us to become her best person.

The one last thought I have stems from the blogs or stories I have read where adoptive parents have an anger towards their child's birthparents for abadoning them. I've read where people have said that they, under no circumstances or political pressure, would ever abandon their child. To them I say, "There but for the grace of God go I." It's easy when you're sitting on this side of the fence to make those comments. There are two truths I do know about Zoe's abadonment. One is that her birthmother did not have to sacrifice her body or her life for nine months to give birth to Zoe. The second is that, upon knowing she would not raise Zoe, she did not have to place Zoe so lovingly in a safe location where she would be so quickly found. Those two choices have made our life complete. And for those two choices I will forever be profoundly grateful.

So with all that I made a decision that every year on September 2nd (the 3rd in China) I'm going to write a letter to Zoe's birthmom telling her about the year Zoe has had. I don't imagine I will ever give them to her or anyone in her family; although genetic testing being what it is, but maybe the letters may mean something to Zoe when she's older. September 3rd in the U.S. will always be about Zoe, but it seems right to reflect on her birthmother and father on the 2nd.