When we had you, we had everything....

I can not believe it's been a year since we first held Zoe in our arms. I remember that day so clearly.... all the fear, all the stress, all the excitment, all the bewilderment that we had flown more than half way around the world to create our family, and mostly all the joy. What a year it has been. Zoe went from being a very quiet little 9 month old, to a very active 21 month old who we call our Ambassador of Good Will for all the smiles, hellos, and blown kisses she gives to everyone. (Of course she's also getting a little closer to two now and is becoming a little more bossy. Yesterday she told me to "sit down mommy." I was thrilled with the three word phrase, less thrilled with the attitude :) ) Zoe also went from being unable to sit up, to running, hopping, and climbing stairs. The transformation has been amazing and everything we had been told about the resiliency of the babies has proven to be true. Our little girl is so strong. She had gone through more in her first nine months than most adults I know. She is my hero.

I've learned so much this year, and I know Eric has too. Although I've worked with kids since I was one, being a parent and having the 24/7 responsibilities is only something you can understand when you are doing it. Even know I tell the parents I work with that it is so much easier for me to tell them how to parent than it is for me to actually do it. There are so many things that I never thought I would do, that I do. A year and a day ago I never would have thought I would co-sleep with my child....or that I would love it. I also never knew I had the capacity to worry to much, to hurt so much when I can't console her, or to love so much. Don't get me wrong, I love Eric so very much. But the love I feel for this child is (as I write and cross out many words) indescribable, as is the gratefulness I feel to her birth parents and country.

This year certainly hasn't been without it's share of ups and downs. A good friend of mine, the father of four, told me when I got married to wait to have children. He said that being a parent is hard and if you don't take the time just to establish your marriage first, you won't be able to tell if it's the marriage, or the parenting, that is hard. Boy, he was right on the mark. There are times when we are scared, or tired, or stressed that we have been less than nice to each other. But we can always look back on those 3 years (seems short I know) of marriage and 6 years of togetherness and remember that we got along really well then..so it's just the tiredness/stress talking. What my friend also should have said is to make sure you really, really love your spouse because there will be days on this parenting journey where you won't like each other very well, if at all...but you'll still have that love. Thank God for that.

This year has been an amazing journey and we're looking forward to so many more with Zoe. I know Eric and I both feel so incredibly blessed to have her in our lives. We must have done something right to have been given the incredible opportunity to be Zoe's parents.