Well, I guess the next post wasn't about our child. This has been an incredibly frustrating week. First I listened to someone on RQ when I should have known better and believed that referrals were coming on Monday. Then the terrible rumors that our friends with 10-28 LID weren't going to be included. And finally, referrals started showing up yesterday, but only for one agency or affliates of that agency. Other agencies, including ours, have said that they don't have anything in the air...which means that referrals probably won't come on Monday either. This process has become so vastly different from what it was when we started and even as we sit on the cusp of getting a referral, I'm not feeling joy..I'm feeling down. I know that some of it comes from the fear that we're not going to be able to share our referral day with our 10/28 friends who have really been the only thing making this wait bearable. I don't understand why things have to be so secretive. I don't understand why they have to be so hard or stressful for us and our friends. My father passed away in September without meeting his grandchild, and friends have lost significant people in their lives during this wait, wasn't that hard enough? This month to month of not knowing is too hard. It's like with infertility and wondering if you're pregnant.. is it this month? no. Is it the next month? no. Until you get to the point that even when it's finally your turn you can't trust it. I'm not sure how we will talk to our child about this wait, except to tell him or her that there has never been a child more wanted or anticipated, or who had more people praying for his/her safe arrival into our home. We have Easter together as a family tomorrow and everyone has been instructed to not say, "oh we were hoping to have heard by now." I just can't take that. I'm sorry for the tone of this post, I just needed to blow off some steam. I guess it's like I told Eric yesterday though when he was so frusrated.....we can be happy and enjoy the day.. and referrals aren't coming today, or we can be unhappy and miserable.... and referrals aren't coming today. Either way, referrals aren't coming . Pity party over. Time to go enjoy the day :)
2 comments:
From one of 10/28 friends, enjoy your referral day. We expect you to, please do not worry about us, our time will come. We are so incredibly happy for both you and Eric. I know that this wait as has been especially hard for you. Figure it this way, if we traveled with you, we wouldn't be able to get the inside dirt on how things really work. I know that you will tell it exactly as it is and not hold any punches.
Here's hoping that Tuesday is your day (I know Monday would be tough day for referrals for you, so my wish is that Tuesday will be the day).
Happy Easter!!! We are so excited for you.
Karen
LID 10/28
See the power that is my Birthday and crazy things happening. LOL
Kristi,
I TOTALLY agree with Karen's comment. You deserve to enjoy and celebrate this Referral. We want to celebrate along side of you! Our time will come soon enough and you will celebrate with us. I KNOW if the tables were reversed you would be cheering for us and you would be telling us not to feel bad. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE just soak it all in and celebrate! You and Eric deserve this. We cant wait to see the pictures of your bundle of joY!
Ellen
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